Table of Contents

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

...Okay, for those of you who did not go directly to this chapter, "Welcome to my Title Chapter"

Only the patient ones will get the full benefit out of this chapter as The Meal you are about to create needs stuff from previous chapters. Howard's Excellent Salad Dressing® from chapter three is an important ingredient in this web we are about to weave.

However there are some important Psychological things that need to be dealt with before you hit the kitchen. Number one Cooking to Get Laid has got to be initiated by a formal date in advance. Never, Never, Never spontaneous!

"Honey, why don't you come over next Saturday, and I'll cook"
"Nope, Nothing, Honest Hon Nothing. I mean it, Just your sexy self."
"No wine, really please I want to do it all myself. Ok, Great."

She'll bring a plant or flowers. If she brings candles you probably wont even need to cook!

If you use a cleaning service to clean your place, DO NOT use them on this day. You need to clean the place up yourself, because you are not expected to have the place immaculately professionally cleaned. Women can detect a professionally cleaned apartment, and will think you are spoilt and lazy.

You need to clean the place like a mutherfucker yourself, and when you are done and satisfied that you will never do it again as thoroughly, then do the following:

1. Make a smudge on the bathroom mirror.
2. Put half a potato chip on the floor in a visible corner in the living room

These actions are designed to give you the confidence you need, to take her to bed after the "amaze yourself Dinner" you are about to concoct. You see the first time she goes to pee, she will wipe off the smudge. She will notice you cleaned the place damn well and secretly give you big brownie points for the effort, but
"Typical guy that you are you missed the smudge" After she wipes the smudge pour her a cocktail and sit for a while in the very clean and tidy living room bullshitting about anything.

Then you go take a piss to see the smudge gone, while she picks up the potato chip!